I’ve been thinking about writing this for awhile, but I don’t exactly feel like I have the words. Here it goes anyway.
I have a habit of discrediting myself in certain situations- maybe because I’m humble, maybe because I’m self conscious, I don’t know. Who knows anything anymore?
Most recently, it’s been about school. I’ve recently graduated from a small college (my second degree) and it was a very small school. My graduating class was only around twenty people. I received Valedictorian and the ICON Award within my degree. I’m very grateful and it was really cool to be awarded both.
BUT, every time it came up I would make an excuse for why I received them, like: “Oh, it’s no big deal. It’s a small school”, or “There was only a couple students with my degree”, and my favorite “This school wasn’t as hard other colleges”.
I also say “School is just easy for me” or “I’m a good test taker” when people marvel over my 4.0 GPA.
Even writing this feels off, like I’m gloating. I physically want to write those things or not even post this at all.
I guess my point for this is that it’s okay to feel good about your achievements. It’s okay to be prideful and hold confidence in your abilities without playing it down for others. It is still taking daily reminders for me to remember that. I find myself often downplaying things that I do.
I shake my head a lot and I need to remember to smile and say thank you instead, relishing in that feel good moment because it’s usually those moments that make me want to push forward more.